Artist's Rendering

Metro Chicken Fight Aftermath, Orange Line -> Vienna, 5:50 PM, 9/24/09.

Exhibit A: Splattered chicken plate
Exhibit B: Second splattered chicken plate
Exhibit C: Mass chicken debris
Exhibit D: Apple pie, slightly smashed


WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!

Animal House

One of my friends who knows my love for sharks and all sharky things recently sent me a link to a Shark Paring Knife. I had planned for this post to be all about sharks merchandise (don’t worry, that will come later), but in hunting around on Target.com I discovered a ton of appliances by Boston Warehouse, specifically their Animal House line. These have to be the coolest kitchen gadgets I have ever seen. Some of my favorites:

Whale Ice Cream Spade

Punk-u-Pine Scrubber

And, of course, I am now the proud owner of the Shark Bottle Opener (no longer available online).

Many Will Enter, One Will Win

You decide: Panda Dog vs Hot Dog Dog.

vs.

(Thanks http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=39774&in_page_id=34 and some google image searching).

3 Reasons Why I love New York

1) Sugar Sweet Sunshine

2) Central Park Children's Zoo

3) Not Pictured: Bars that look like libraries where you mistakenly end up in the middle of a bachelor party.

My Summer in Numbers*

*All numbers are approximate. I might be bored, but I'm not that bored.

Days Worked: 65

Weekdays Not Spent At Work: 5

Days Spent Outside Southern California: 7

Hours Spent On SCV Public Transit: 195

Hours Spent Waiting for SCV Public Transit: 13

Books Read (Mostly On SCV Public Transit): 20

Cupcake Bakeries Visited: 4

Dollars Spent at the Starbucks on Little Santa Monica: 104

Hours Spent Checking My Email: I couldn't even begin to count.

Happy end of summer.

The Cupcake to End All Cupcakes

Thanks to my regular stalking of Splendora, I have discovered the ultimate cake pan:

A giant cupcake cake mold!

I'm pretty sure this is what I'm getting Fiore for her birthday. And then, when I visit at Thanksgiving, we are going to make a GIANT pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting. This was a glorious invention.

Bigger, Stronger, Hungrier!

The best week of summer starts today! Yes, that's right, it's Shark Week's 20th Anniversary. This year's lineup looks pretty good:

Tonight, 9pm- Ocean of Fear: Worst Shark Attack Ever
Monday, 9pm- Deadly Stripes: Tiger Sharks; 10pm- Top 5 Eaten Alive
Tuesday, 9pm- Shark Feeding Frenzy
Wednesday, 9pm- Perfect Predators
Thursday, 9pm- Shark Tribe
Friday, 9pm- Sharks: A Family Affair
Saturday, 9pm- Sharkman

My only complaint is that I think their marketing tactics interfere with their message. We're supposed to be understanding that sharks aren't the vicious predators the media makes them out to be, yet show titles like "Top 5 Eaten Alive" don't go very far in conveying that point. Of course even I'm playing both sides here, because I'm thoroughly excited about every show despite the negative connotations they seem to be relying on. Anyway I'm counting on the content to delve into the more complex aspects of shark behavior. It's the Discovery Channel after all, not Most Extreme Shark Attacks volume 9 on FOX or something. They have a reputation to uphold.

Ooh, there's even a Shark Week blog. Now why no t-shirt ?!?!

10 Days Until Harry Potter

Oh my goodness, I cannot wait. Well, I can wait, mainly because 1) I have to, and 2) I'm sort of terrified. I'm not ready, I can't handle it. It's probably (read: definitely) the most exciting day of my entire summer. Yes, it trumps turning 21. And I am perfectly comfortable with that fact.

Anyway, the actual point of this post is not Harry Potter, but other books I've been reading as of late.

• The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie- Not for the faint of literary heart, as its length makes it quite the undertaking, but really interesting (terrible adjective), thought provoking and well-written. Plus, the book has great history, since it won Rushdie a death sentence (wikipedia him, its all very dramatic..and no, he's not actually dead). If you don't want to commit the time that Rushdie deserves, at least pay him homage by READING THIS ESSAY. It's called "Is Nothing Sacred?" and its awesome (and short!). Definitely my favorite essay of all time.
  
• The Expected One by Kathleen McGowan- Ok, so I never read The Da Vinci Code, but I imagine this is sort of its feminist counterpart (its all about Mary Magdalene). That being said, it presents some fascinating ideas about the origins and consecutive bastardizations of Jesus' teachings. Additionally, the author basically claims to have sources she cannot reveal that support many of the book's counter-historical (not to be confused with counter-factual) claims. As an agnostic on my good days, I struggled with notions of miraculous healings, divine visions and Fate; as a feminist and avid watcher of the History Channel, I really enjoyed it. Speaking of the History Channel, now I want to watch this special they were advertising a few months ago, "The Truth About Mary Magdalene. (Ah ha ha I love puns).
  
• It Ain't All about the Cookin' (A memoir) by Paula Deen- Ahaha. I haven't actually finished this but I did start on the bus this morning. I really just love the contrast it adds to my book list here. She has had a crazy crazy life....and the book does make me rather hungry since it is interspersed with recipes. I think that's still a pro, though. I do wonder, however, how much was actually written by her, since I don't know when she's had time to write a book with every other media endeavor she has going on. Whatever. I want to be a guest on Paula's Party.

I think there are more but those are the highlights. Now go read the Rushdie essay.

21 Run!

Okay, I didn't actually have 21 drinks. Nor did I run, for that matter. But it was still a success.







Additionally, work gave me Sprinkles cupcakes. Which was pretty exciting considering I don't think they know about my minor cupcake obsession. Obviously I ate two before I even made it home... they were delicious.

You're going to need a bigger boat

I usually never look at my Google home page, but I'm really glad I did today. Otherwise I would have missed the fact that the How To of the Day is....

How To Survive a Shark Attack!

Yes I know that a picture of a shark cupcake isn't necessarily the best graphic representation of this article, but it's so innovative. Although it kind of looks like it could also be a dinosaur with a hat on. Hmm.

Aaanyway, my favorite part of 'How to Survive a Shark Attack!' is Step 5: Get out of the water. Ha, yes, please do. Although I also enjoy this little bullet point found in Step 4: Fight.

• If you have a speargun or pole, use it!"

Ooh I just found a link to "How to Prevent a Shark Attack." (In case you were wondering, Step 1 is to stay out of shark infested waters....)

Navigators with their mappy maps?

Google maps is pretty sweet. Exhibit A:


It can't be toooo bad that I made this map while I was at work because it's sort of about work.......sort of.

Good thing noone really reads this except for Mack or I'd be making myself prime for stalking.

I bore myself

Last summer my life wasn't any more exciting than it is this summer, yet still I found amusing things to blog about. Since then, however, it has been a slow trudge downhill. Jenni proposed I start a blog about commuting, which isn't a bad idea, except I usually just Get on the bus, Read, Get off the bus. With the occasional variation of Get on the bus, Listen to the pod, Get off the bus. And that one time: Don't get on the bus because the bus decided to leave 10 minutes early, Take a van to the bus, Sleep because I forgot a book AND the pod, Get off the bus.

So, since that's all I do...

Books I've Read This Summer:

• Cloud Atlas- David Mitchell- A. Definitely a post-modern read but seriously amazing. It probably qualifies as at least 5 different genres and the plot structure/ attention to detail is impressive.
  
• My Antonia- Willa Cather- B. I understand the literary world's appreciation for her writing, it has a very natural rhythym and was beautiful at times. The description of Antonia got a little 'Noble Savage' for me and the midwest isn't one of my favorite topics, but I'm glad I made it through.
  
• Sweet Ruin- Cathi Hanauer- B. A lot more realistic than I expected which was refreshing at times. Not life shattering but a good plane read.
  
• Forever in Blue: The 4th Summer of the Sisterhood- Ann Brashares- B. Hey, I'm not a literary elitist. I diversify my choices. It was .. exactly what you'd expect.
  
• Animal Farm- George Orwell- B+. This was my third attempt to read this book because I always seem to start right before I leave for school. This time I finished it in one bus trip from SCV to Beverly Hills, ha. Merely confirmed my opinion that Orwell is awesome.
  
• Special Topics in Calamity Physics- Marisha Pessl- A. The last 100 pages or so get an A+. Overall it's quite long but a) that makes it perfect for commuting and b) that makes the end even better, like a reward. It's sort of ... Catcher in the Rye meets The Waste land meets Nancy Drew ... or something. Read it!
  

Alright that's my Sunday post. Off to the library, mango margaritas, and the Tony awards. Obviously not all at the same time.

Wanted: Books.

I commute a lot. Please give me suggestions for my reading list.

I've been getting a little lazy

I've really been slacking on the blog lately. I am ashamed. In no specific order, here are the things I've wanted to write about most in that past, oh, month or so:

-Spring Awakening: Fiore and I saw this show when I visited her over spring break. It was AMAZING. Seriously. After about the first 3 minutes I was already in love with it, even though 1) I was standing and 2) I had never heard the music before.
-In the Skin of a Lion: I read this book for my English seminar a few weeks ago and it was incredible. His language is so poetic and his stories are so well constructed. I think Michael Ondaatje is one of my top three favorite authors of all time, because I read The English Patient last year and felt the same way about it. So go read both of them right now.
-Sugar Sweet Sunshine: Best. Cupcakes. Ever. I had a pumpkin cupcake with creamcheese frosting and I almost cried. It was beautiful. So go to New York so you can eat one. And then you can see Spring Awakening (and read In the Skin of a Lion on the plane!)
-The History Channel: History is so underrated. I watched some random program about the Dark Ages while I was at the gym this morning, and it was the least painful/tedious gym visit I've had in 2 weeks. PLUS a William and Mary history professor was on the show talking about Viking torture methods or something. Yesss.
-Alright, Still: So I know this Lily Allen cd has been out for a bit, but megs recently sent it to me and it's just so happy. Actually I guess it's not all happy but it's very catchy and funny and I enjoy it.

Ok well that's it for now. I don't know what kind of post this is but hopefully it will revitalize this page and encourage me to post again in the future. Peaacce.

Rescue Rangers

Ok so my idea here was to say something about how I didn't want to blog about the Oscars, but about a news story I saw AFTER the Oscars in which a little girl was attacked by a squirrel (who wanted her sun chips). Unfortunately I can't find a link to that story. However, upon googling squirrel attacks in Virginia I did find this little gem, which is both hysterical and recent enough to be noteworthy.

I believe this is my favorite excerpt:

"At that point, the communications major said she tried to unlatch Toby by beating it against the bench.

'What else do you do in that situation?' she asked. "There's no stop, drop and roll.' "

No, indeed not.

Wait a minute, I just noticed that the squirrel also has a name. Seriously? It gets better and better.

And I know that 'Rescue Rangers' is a pretty irrelevant title, even if you disregard the fact that the Rescue Rangers were chipmunks. But its 9am and you just can't expect greatness that early. Now off to the gym.

You are so beautiful

I got a new pod!

He looks something like this:
It's all very exciting. It even makes me WANT to go to the gym (well, at least once)! No more having to watch horrible shows, like the ever-repetitive CNN headline news, or I Love New York, or some basketball game that I don't care about!

Also, I recognize that I need to blog more and about things that are actually interesting, or at least humorous. So I will work on that.

In the meantime, everyone should read a book by Ondaatje. He makes me happy to be an English major. And since I'm at the point in my life where I've realized this may not provide me with a future, this is a very big deal.

A Terrible Tragedy

So the other day I was at the gym- first sign of bad things to come- and I get on the eliptical with my ipod. And at some point some hand-cord tangling occurs, sending my poor little pod plummeting to the ground. But he was retrieved for me by a fellow eliptical-er, and worked just fine for the duration of my gym time.

THEN I try to turn him on when I get home and I get THIS:
How horrible is that? It couldn't give me a more generic symbol, which only would have alerted me to the demise of my pod upon further research? No, it shows me a picture where a pod has X's for eyes! And a sad face! Sigh.

I guess for awhile I'll have to fall asleep in silence, actually pay attention to people as I walk through campus, and work out to whatever the wm rec people decide to put on tv. Sad.

Because I am procrastinating

On Friday, two things of importance occurred:

I made cupcakes

Nemo tore the leg off his moose.

Yes I may have reached a low here. But its either find something to post or pack my shoes. And I'm just not ready to make that kind of commitment.

Now I will further avoid packing by helping to bathe the pups.

Oh, a quick side note. Last night I was watching Thank You for Smoking, and there was a line where the main character said he had a BA in Kicking Ass and Taking Names. I think I would like that. Has to be more useful than a degree in English.

Well this is sad.

So last weekend Dad and Tay and I went to visit the Gparents in Newport, of course stopping by Balboa Island. Now awhile ago I wrote this post about how they are slowly shutting down the Fun Zone, and Saturday I saw it in person.

What used to be the Dark and Scary ride is now (drumroll please)

...a public restroom. Sigh.

Something else that bugs me: when only one person has commented on a blog post, it says "1 Comments." I have very few pet peeves in life, but poor grammar is one of them. Ok well I have more than a few....let's see:
-poor grammar
-wrinkled clothing
-not matching
-nail biting
-not rinsing dishes before they go in the dishwasher

Ok I'll stop before I reveal all of my OCD tendencies.

I think I'll make some cupcakes to take to city hall tomorrow.

Yesterday's post

So I tried to do this yesterday but for some reason it wouldn't upload any images for me. And it just wouldn't have been the same without the picture.

Basically, the most exciting part of the Golden Globes was when Hugh Laurie won for House. And although many globe-recappers have not mentioned this as a highlight, it definitely was.


Additionally, today it flurried for about 5 minutes. This was quite the feat, since it hasn't snowed in the SCV since I was three. And yet it has ruined my plans for the day because my mother, like everyone else in Southern California, freaks out at any sort of weather anomaly and refuses to get on the freeway. Bah. Heans and I drove to Yale in a freaking rainstorm. Ok perhaps not our brightest decision but we're still here.