The Selfish Cookbook

As many of you know, I'm a compulsive Food Network viewer. Nothing is more relaxing to me than my favorite hour of Food Network, the back-to-back showing of Giada at Home and The Barefoot Contessa. But as many of you also know... I don't really cook. Sure, I'll make the occasional treat or meatloaf (idea: treatloaf!!), but at the end of the day I'm more of an eggs and toast kind of girl. Specifically, fried eggs. At the end of every day. Because we have an incredible skillet/ spatula combo, and it takes a long time for eggs and bread to go bad.

(Now you might be thinking- isn't that a waste of knowledge? You've learned the proper way to clean mushrooms, slice an avocado, and level a layer cake, but you never put these skills to use? Well, yes, it is sad. It just seems to be my fate. See: Major, English. Four years spent studying topics like "Divorce in Victorian Literature" and a three month course exclusively on the works of Faulkner, but the only visible skill I use in my day to day is my mean Word formatting ability. Anyway, it doesn't bother me. I'm just biding my time. Just wait until I write a critical essay on the evolution of food in the 20th century novel. JUST WAIT.) 

Um right, where was I? Oh yes, The Selfish Cookbook. Having me over for the holidays? Here are some things I would love to make myself, but probably won't, but would still like to try, so have at them!

The Main Course:

Pizza Buns (recipe and image from The Other Side of 50)

Mm, festive! I mean if you sprinkled some basil it would practically be Christmas in your mouth.

The Dessert:

Ina's Rugelach (recipe and image from foodnetwork.com)

My love for rugelach dates back to when my mom and I used to buy it in the grocery store. And if I don't get around to consuming it fresh-baked this season, that's exactly what I'll do. Note: please ditch the suggested filling and go for something much more pleasing to my palate, like a berry jam and mini chocolate chips.  

The Cocktail:

The Snowshoe (recipe and image from Sloshed!)

This drink is simply bourbon and peppermint schnapps over crushed ice. I don't know about you but I am very intrigued.

The Vegetable (which I'm hiding at the end because I can't imagine my friends ever making this and yet I wantitsobadly):

Creamed Spinach (recipe from Smitten Kitchen)

Ok, so I can't post an image because her work is copywright and one thing I definitely retained from my days as an English Major is a hearty fear of plagiarism. However, this looks so delicious and at the end there is a FRIED EGG involved. And by now you know how I feel about fried eggs.

So... when's dinner?

The Selfish Gift Guide

My mother used to always tell me that she hated when people gave gifts that they wanted you to have vs gifts you actually wanted. I've tried to take this to heart in my own holiday shopping, but I keep coming across items that I just want people to have. So I've compiled them here, in the Selfish Gift Guide, to let people know what they should want if they wanted to make my holiday shopping easier.

The Sartorialist by Scott Schuman

Seriously how do you NOT want this book? It's so pretty, and surprisingly weighty- you'd be getting my money's worth! PLUS I have a trial Amazon Prime membership that would allow me free 2-day shipping.

Pride and Prejudice (either new edition)

Ok, so you probably own it, but there's no way it's this chic. And remember my Amazon Prime trial.

Russian Doll Measuring Cups

Fun and functional!

And similarly from Fred Flare, the Gin and Titonic Ice Cube Tray*

Equally fun, if not quite as functional, and the pun is spectacular.

*I know it only makes 4 ice cubes. I know that it is the most high-maintenance ice cube tray that ever lived. But just look at that pun.

Well this could go on for awhile, but I'll just stop there. Happy gift-giving and gift-receiving (or my personal choice, the gift-baking).

Artist's Rendering

Metro Chicken Fight Aftermath, Orange Line -> Vienna, 5:50 PM, 9/24/09.

Exhibit A: Splattered chicken plate
Exhibit B: Second splattered chicken plate
Exhibit C: Mass chicken debris
Exhibit D: Apple pie, slightly smashed


WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!

Animal House

One of my friends who knows my love for sharks and all sharky things recently sent me a link to a Shark Paring Knife. I had planned for this post to be all about sharks merchandise (don’t worry, that will come later), but in hunting around on Target.com I discovered a ton of appliances by Boston Warehouse, specifically their Animal House line. These have to be the coolest kitchen gadgets I have ever seen. Some of my favorites:

Whale Ice Cream Spade

Punk-u-Pine Scrubber

And, of course, I am now the proud owner of the Shark Bottle Opener (no longer available online).

Many Will Enter, One Will Win

You decide: Panda Dog vs Hot Dog Dog.

vs.

(Thanks http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=39774&in_page_id=34 and some google image searching).