You can lead a horse to two birds in a bush but it doesn't make them biscuits

I don't know if I've ever expressed here my desire to talk in mixed idioms all the time, but the title of this post is a direct result of that. It might be my favorite mixed idiom (mixiom?) ever, in that it contains two of my favorite idioms ever.

Speaking generally of phrases, I think that might be one of my favorite parts of Tim Gunn's blog. He loves to incorporate french phrases into his commentary and I love it. I think he used "Chacun a son gout" (literally: everyone has his own taste, basically: to each his own) twice in this post. I should start doing that, just drop in some french here and there. Of course I only remember the random ones like "Ce n'est pas tes oignons" (its not your onions, ie none of your business) and "Je ne suis pas dans mon assiette aujourd'hui (i'm not in my plate today, or i'm not feeling well). And now that we've all had a 10th grade french lesson....

These are all I wanted today. A very frustrating search that involved TWO grocery stores yielded no results. Sure, the blueberry muffin I wanted this morning was a piece of cake to procure, but I try to eat something healthy and it eludes me!

Coincidence? I think not.

Je ne suis pas dans mon assiette aujourd'hui.

EDIT: Because the end of this post sounded way too angsty for me, I'll throw in something literary. I got this book at the library today. I'm always iffy on the biblical tales but I've heard great things about it. Will report back.